Brand Rep

If any of the following companies/products are looking for a brand rep, SEND THEM MY WAY. I will endorse the crap out of them.

Binder Clips of the World-I know this isn’t a real company. I’m trying to reach a broad audience. Listen. You know all of those video hacks and listicles that show you all the incredibly useful ways to use binder clips? Me. I invented it. All of them (nope). I have been using binder clips since I started my first business in the summer of ’97 with Kasey’s Card Shop (over-achieving since I knew what that meant). It was during this spry and youthful age that I realized the full potential of the clip. I literally wrote an entire post  (here) about how much I love them, complete with a photoshoot of me wearing them in my hair. I’m dedicated, Binder Clips of the World™. Don’t pass me up.

Female Diaphrams-HEAR ME OUT. I’m not scared to live in a 1980’s teen film. I’ll spare you the details but seriously, if you want to start a google group hang to talk about it, you’ve got my info.

Apple Products-Okay, real talk. The only reason I am pro apple products is because you can sync lots of devices and they are aesthetically the sexiest tech products (is that the right term? Devices? Whatever) out there . I’m not savvy enough to come up with any other significant reasons for you to buy their products. I like them so much I’m even willing to forgive them for not hiring me to be a dancer in one of their iPod commercials where people wear headphones and go full-blown Flashdance in the middle of the street (which I really did audition for back in Austin when I still had my pre-20’s, pre-baby moves/bod). YOUR LOSS, APPLE.

Clinical Deodorant-First of all, can we strike the term, “clinical?” I’m not sure we need to announce to the world that we need our deodorant to combat a clinical condition. Why can’t we just call it, For Chicks Who Sweat (big time), or Babies Did Weird Things To My Sweat Glands? Or, maybe you could just make your deodorant the same way you make dude’s deodorant and just call it, “Deodorant.” Because I’ve tried Rob’s, and I smell like sexy man sweat for dayz.

Cadbury-COME AT ME, CADBURY. I just searched past blogs and I’ve already written about you THRICE. Here, here, and here (there’s actually one more but three seems reasonable, four crosses a line). And as I mentioned in one of the posts, “Every time I pass a box of Cadbury Creme Eggs I feel like I need to slip them into a canvas, drawstring bag and journey with them to Mount Doom until they can be destroyed with fire. Dammit, Cadbury! You glorious manufacturers of chocolate!” I’m legit willing to pose in a giant vat of cadbury creme wearing nothing but a large chocolate shell on my head. Tell me what it would take. #callme





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