krn

Here’s what I’ve learned

I’m 28 today.

I would be surprised to find someone who could say that their life had turned out the way they had imagined. Writing that, I also have to point out that I recognize the melodrama and yes, I know I’m not on my deathbed, but still. This is my blog so don’t try to tell me how to live my life.

Anyway. I’m only 28 but I like to think I’ve picked up a few things (aside from the crow’s feet and my default, furrowed look of distain). They include the following:

  1. I’ve learned that I’m not as smart as I thought I was (yeah, yeah, copy and paste, quote it if you will, I said it). But really, my entire life I legit thought I was top 5%.  Come at me, Mensa. But if we’re looking at this objectively, my ability to retain information is pathetic. Also, numbers (insert giant thumbs down emoji with crying face). It’s probably useful information to learn about yourself, that you’re actually just average intelligence. Unlike my husband (and husband’s family) who objectively excel in academics etc, I can spend a lifetime learning the same things over and over and never get burned out because I can’t remember learning it the first time. Boom. Glass half full.
  2. My glass is never half full. Never has been. I sucked that thing dry at birth.
  3. I love being a nurse. When I first started working I loved it because it made me feel competent, capable. Going back to work after two babies and (what feels like) a lifetime of growth, I love being a nurse because I realize I have the capacity to take someone’s well-being into my own hands and steer the experience for them. I’ll still laugh at you if you come in with a foreign body lodged somewhere it shouldn’t be, but I’ll totally wait until you’re out of earshot. See, growth.
  4. I can’t wear red. It’s just not my color. I can’t explain the mysteries of the universe, and I can’t wear red. #life
  5. The worst emotion I’ve ever experienced was the fear of losing a child. You’re capacity to love another human being is ridiculous. My kids will be instrumental in helping me become the best version of myself, (this is a long, long long-term goal) but right now I still feel like I need a bottle of Xanax and a shot of nail polish remover to get through bedtime (but I’m told that’s normal).
  6. Sometimes I still feel like the same person from 10 years ago
    kbday
    This is me. I’m 28. I took this picture to send to my mom to show her I tried to dress up for my birthday. Because that’s the kind of stuff you text your mom.

    when I graduated High School, just with less acne. But thankfully, (for everyone) I developed some self-esteem and can appreciate that no teenager escapes the trappings of douchery. And while I think I’ll still like my kids at that age, I’ll for sure hate their friends.

  7. And for a second let’s just pretend this is my AIM profile and I’ll wrap up this list with the most applicable lyric to my life: “If you can’t keep your sh*t together, When God is on your side, What chance do you have when he’s not around?”~Counting Crows          ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

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