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Let Us Pray

Dear Lord,

Protect these white tennis shoes, just for one day, from any onslaught of spit-up and/or diarrhea.

Bless my home that the jackhammer in next door’s driveway will cease during nap time.

Buoy up this banana, that it might have enough fuel to get me to lunch time.

Please touch the lives of the people waiting for my parking spot. Fill them with patience and love.  It’s going to be a while.

Fill the babe’s bellies with milk, that their blood sugar will be constant and tantrums may be few.

If there is a moment of peace, let it not pass before I have the chance to pee.

Bless my memory, that I will finally remember to call AT&T.

Nevertheless, I say unto you grocery delivery boy, leave the milk at the door.

Give my car the strength to speed through every yellow light, lest I get caught at a red, and the little one is roused to a banshee cry.

Be with the postman today, that he might lose a few unpaid medical bills. Just a few, Lord.

If a storm is to come, let it be thy will that the thunder will be quiet, that I might sleep in my bed sans toddler.

And lastly, Lord, please grant me wherewithal to endure until 7pm. For then, I know that like on so many other nights, Hulu will rescue me from myself.

Amen.

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