So this one time I was at the hospital with both kids. We were headed for one of Robbie’s routine ultrasounds. Somehow, regardless of planning, we are always late. Late to everything. I’m not late. It’s not who I am. I literally almost puke every time I show up to something late. But these tiny, discourteous humans I take with me everywhere DO NOT CARE. Anyway. As we’re getting to the registration desk, Robbie proclaims to the room that, “THE POOP IS COMING!”
Of course it is.
I’m trying to tell the receptionist I have to run to the restroom and after she rolls her eyes at me (I remember your name, Debbie…and I’m coming for you), she points me down the hall. We zoom off, at a remarkably slow pace, and finally spot the sign (after asking 3 more people where to go). I throw open the door as hard as I can so I can maneuver my double stroller through the door without hitting Robbie’s head on the door (If you’ve ever pushed one of those things you know what I am saying) and there we were.
In the men’s room.
Not a big deal. I’m sure people do it all the time. Unfortunately for me, the most handsome doctor I’VE EVER SEEN looked up at me with a big grin and said, “I think you’re in the wrong place.”
“Of course I am (btw have you known your whole life that that was your reflection? Great Zeus, look at that jawline).” <—You’ll be relieved/possibly disappointed to know I didn’t say that last part but I don’t think I had to after I stared at his face for a good three Mississippi’s and my face turned five shades of red.
I began to back myself out of the restroom, bumping the door with a hip and thrusting the stroller awkwardly back out into the hall. In my haste, I knocked Robbie off (it’s a sit and stand stroller) and subsequently ran him over with the back wheel. Naturally, in the same moment, Doc McDreamy walked out of the restroom and peered down at my frazzled situation. Again, he grinned. The clouds parted, angels sang and he said, “sometimes its just one of those days.”
At that point I blacked out and the next thing I remember was sitting on the couch pounding Cadbury eggs trying to stabilize my blood sugar (also because the only other thing in the pantry was jello-mix).
And that my friends, is just a day in the life.