- Hover. For Pete’s sake, hover. Toilet seats are to be seen, not sat upon.
- Never show too much gum when you smile, nobody likes too much gum.
- Thou shall not ever let a hotel duvet touch thine skin. You will get chlamydia, you will die.
- If a waiter hasn’t given you enough ice, shake your cup at em, that’ll do it.
- Pepsi hydrates just as well, if not better than water (she’s a nurse, she would know).
- Regardless of what stage of life/shape a women is in, she will always be looking to lose “about 2-5 lbs.”**
- While at the beach, you sit in the water, you eat pretzels, you drink diet pepsi (obvi), and you alternate reading horribly sad non-fiction with The Wallstreet Journal (no exceptions/substitutes).
- Is there a chance your soda has gone flat? Open a new one. Live life never knowing the darkness of a fizz-less beverage.
- A good bra should be a top priority. Support them so they support you.
- It’s cooler to like Bob Seger than it is to like Josh Groban (sorry Josh, your most recent hit sounds just like Train so I don’t even give you credit for it when I hear it).
- Paint your nails, you’re not a barbarian.
What did your mom teach you??
**Rob should really get credit for pointing this out