Turn down por que!?

Lingo is so confusing right now. Even though my husband is older than me (way older. kidding. sort of) he is always more hip to the current lingo (see what I did there?). No doubt because he is perpetually reading (and does not discriminate reading material i.e. twitter, drudge, reddit, etc) while I’m too busy raising children and snapchatting other moms about whether or not I can still wear distressed jeans (but real talk, can I?).

For the majority of these I had to either consult Rob or friends who don’t spend half the day with dried applesauce in their eyebrow (its been a long week. yeah, I know it’s only Monday). I’m too nervous to use Urban Dictionary because the definitions are usually too shocking for me (and that’s saying something) so these are my explanations for the 5-10% of you reading this who don’t know.

Turnt up. This has something to do with drugs/alcohol, I think? Or possibly electronica and glowsticks. Or maybe drugs and electronica and glowsticks? I have also been informed you can shorten it to just “turnt.” For instance, “let’s get turnt.” And no the “t” isn’t silent. Antonyms: Turn down (for what)

On Fleek. See: On point. Really good? Great? Perfect, even? “Babies in sunnies, on fleek!” Reasons I don’t like this one: it feels too close to a term you would use for birds. Possibly a description of small, chirping birds lining up to eat pre-masticated worms from their mother’s beaks. This one takes me to a weird place.

Dem _____ Doe: Example: “Dem eyes doe.” “Dem jeans doe.” For the love of all that is holy, what have we done? This one is especially offensive. The only person who wouldn’t sound ridiculous saying this is Queen Latifah, because she do want she want. And you’re not Queen Latifah. So stop.

Everything. Example, “He’s everything.” “That shade of lilac is everything.” Its not even. Its purple, and you’re the worst.

Literally Can’t Even. “I literally can’t even.” Meaning: When you literally can’t even.

Basic. You really love Starbucks, drive a Lexus suv and your most frequently used emojis are crying-laughing-face, heart-eyes, side-kissy-face, and full-teeth-nervous-face. Full disclosure: after a heartfelt discussion with Rob about this one I realized that I, Kasey Anderson, am basic. If you feel like you might be basic too, there’s a group that meets every Tuesday night at the community center. And they serve Starbucks.

bae
via jokeallucan.blogspot.com/

Bae: After looking in the Google, I learned that this actually stands for “before anyone else.” Example, “You know you my bae.” Synonyms: Boo, sweetie, baby. Why this one sucks: words that end with “-ae” should be reserved for the educated, preferably those who’ve studied Latin and haven’t used a vacuum to make their lips look like Kylie Jenner’s.

Yaas: Apparently this one just means, “yes” but you pronounce it like you’re wearing headgear.

Come on guys, quit trying to make fetch happen.

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5 thoughts on “Turn down por que!?”

  1. I read the explanation for “everything” and immediately read it in Dru’s voice – – – because I’m almost positive “and you’re the worst” is his favorite line! You two are definitely two peas from the same pod! Ha ha ha!

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